Life is fragile.... so is glass

i want to give my blessings to people who had passed on in the year 2006.

Vince my man, although i didn't really knew u, u made me feel good, since u were twice the size of me. ur sense of humor was impeccable, ur patience that of an iron wall, ur laughter will always be remembered by us.

Mandy, another of my cousin's dog, had also passed on... 15th jan 2007. She was euthanised as her physical condition was deproving. She had cataract in both eyes, a cyst as large as her head, mange, was obese and renal failure. Even if she was alive, she'll be suffering. I remembered how each time i saw her in that sorry plight that i wish i had a brick in my hand and just killed her very instantly...

Although i have always thought that i lead a good life, but occasionally, i'll have pessimistic thoughts that would flash signs of suicide or acts of self mutilation. guess i'm really suffering from depression.

Poly turned out to be a very harsh place to be in. its not like what i thought it was. Sure there were good times, but bad times are outweighing them. i have lost my will to go on... my time has frozen solid, without the warmth of friends, the support of relatives and the kindness of strangers.

As i walk through the streets, looking at each face. though they are faces that smile, but which smile is true and which is not. i feel sadness, emptiness and sorrow within. Must knowledge of emotions be so strong that one can collapse under it?
it seems to me that i'm a coward; afraid to do this, afraid to do that. yet, y do i hate being despised? i feel a need to excel but my body wouldn't respond.
can i gain back what i once lost? can i stop showing ppl the facade i carry ard?
the voice of my heart cries for help... is there anyone willing to salvage me from my plight...


guess not... since in this harsh reality, one must depend on oneself to make it on his own.