the last straw
I noe its been awhile since i last wrote here. i juz dun like blogging, that's all but today i'm juz gonna pour everything out. I dun care if i do hurt ppl, i dun care if ppl will read this or not, i dun wanna give a FUCK abt ppl anymore cos have u guys given me a FUCK ever since i was alive. Geez, i can't live a day without thinking how the hell am i gonna spend the rest of my life with jus this little friends this little money and y i weigh so much. I may not look good, neither do i have the brains or the friggin goddamn guts to tell ppl my feelings thats y i always appear so sad. I bottle all these things up cos i wanna make the ppl around me happy.
If i am ur fren, dun go ard telling me that i can't solve things or that i'm making it worse. that makes me sound useless. Do u noe that whatever that happens to u guys, i will think that it was my fault? that i could have fixed it?
if u do understand me, dun take a dagger n stab my heart n say' hey, look, its not that sharp'. Saying thigs like i'm not smart, i'm fat, i'm whatever.... those are the little things that i bottle up. u noe accumulatively that hurts. Do u know how many times i actually considered trying to cut myself up. Do u noe how much i wanna look good.
this time, i'm not making it about others. its about me. yes, this is the self-centred wei lee that ppl dun see. i'm the one who punches the walls, i'm the one that ask myself y do i care so much that i dun care abt myself.
Its not like i'm a bad guy, nor am i a saint, i'm oni human. this is no personal attack.
u think u noe me? do u noe that everytime i am angry, i punch walls? no matter how painful it is, i'll still punch the walls. do u noe that i really care how someone judges me no matter how unworthy they are. DO U NOE I EXIST?
i'm already not doing good and there are still ppl who rub salt into my wounds.... its been a long long long time since i frigging told anything abt my personal life, my thoughts, my everything.
when i say i wanna be frens with u, it means forever. it doesn't mean that i'll place u in a corner of my heart n forget abt u, no. that's not me. I'm serious when i say that i'll protect u, i will gladly throw my life away for u. i'm serious when i say i'll help u, but if by helping, i'm doing the wrong thing, then i muz be really bad.
i noe i'm wasting my time typing all this, but i am sure, if i keep this on, i'll explode. when i was typing this post, my fingers were exerting force enough to break eggs, that's ab t how pissed i am per alphabet.
if u do understand me, believe in me. if u do know me, trust me. but if u have neither believe or trust or that trust has faded away, i'm sorry, i'm unworthy to be a friend.
i always wonder if ppl do remember me even if i died, i guess maybe no one will. even after saying so much, i guess, i will always be a loner.......
If i am ur fren, dun go ard telling me that i can't solve things or that i'm making it worse. that makes me sound useless. Do u noe that whatever that happens to u guys, i will think that it was my fault? that i could have fixed it?
if u do understand me, dun take a dagger n stab my heart n say' hey, look, its not that sharp'. Saying thigs like i'm not smart, i'm fat, i'm whatever.... those are the little things that i bottle up. u noe accumulatively that hurts. Do u know how many times i actually considered trying to cut myself up. Do u noe how much i wanna look good.
this time, i'm not making it about others. its about me. yes, this is the self-centred wei lee that ppl dun see. i'm the one who punches the walls, i'm the one that ask myself y do i care so much that i dun care abt myself.
Its not like i'm a bad guy, nor am i a saint, i'm oni human. this is no personal attack.
u think u noe me? do u noe that everytime i am angry, i punch walls? no matter how painful it is, i'll still punch the walls. do u noe that i really care how someone judges me no matter how unworthy they are. DO U NOE I EXIST?
i'm already not doing good and there are still ppl who rub salt into my wounds.... its been a long long long time since i frigging told anything abt my personal life, my thoughts, my everything.
when i say i wanna be frens with u, it means forever. it doesn't mean that i'll place u in a corner of my heart n forget abt u, no. that's not me. I'm serious when i say that i'll protect u, i will gladly throw my life away for u. i'm serious when i say i'll help u, but if by helping, i'm doing the wrong thing, then i muz be really bad.
i noe i'm wasting my time typing all this, but i am sure, if i keep this on, i'll explode. when i was typing this post, my fingers were exerting force enough to break eggs, that's ab t how pissed i am per alphabet.
if u do understand me, believe in me. if u do know me, trust me. but if u have neither believe or trust or that trust has faded away, i'm sorry, i'm unworthy to be a friend.
i always wonder if ppl do remember me even if i died, i guess maybe no one will. even after saying so much, i guess, i will always be a loner.......
posted by Misunderst00d at 12:43 AM
3 Comments:
Dude, One thing wat I've learn, Is that u shud not bottle up ur emotions... That's gonna coz u ur life if anything goes wrong... Consult ur pals if u got any probs... Get it?? And stop those cutting up urself thingy... It's NONSENSE!!!!
eric here, wah liao dun make urself seems so sad lei. U forget us liao ar!!! sometimes i feel like how u feel lar. Dun make ppl happy in the sake of u feeling sad. We are all humans. I think sometimes showing out ur feelings is a gd things. No one is perfect anyway. Anyway hang it on.... life is like tt. Any prob can find me but i doubt u will. Haha cos maybe i not "old" enough. LOL
wei. why bottle up emtions? i dont care. this sat you must be happy and tell us about ur problems. now we are in different school, but still we can contact through msn, didnt we? till then. stop thinking so much and see you on sat.
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